How Can I Help My 5 Year Old Make Friends At School? 

 November 28, 2023

By  maipham

How can I help my 5 year old make friends at school? If you are looking at this questions then you know it is heartwrenching to see our little ones struggle to fit in or make friends, especially when they’re just starting school at the tender age of five. I remember my own child’s first day of school, his tiny backpack dwarfing them, his eyes wide with both excitement and nervousness. As a mother, I knew the importance of helping him navigate this new social landscape, but I also knew it was a delicate process. This guide is the culmination of our journey, packed with helpful tips and advice on how you can help your five-year-old make friends at school.

Understanding Your Child’s Perspective

How Can I Help My 5 Year Old Make Friends At School?

Understanding Your Child’s Anxieties and Fears

Recognizing the anxieties and apprehensions your child might experience is a crucial first step in helping them make friends. Young children, especially those just starting school, often have fears about fitting in and being accepted by their peers.

Dealing with Separation Anxiety

For instance, separation anxiety is quite common in children starting school. They might fear being away from their parents or caregivers. This fear can manifest in the form of clinginess, crying, or tantrums. For example, your child might cry uncontrollably on the first few days of school, find it hard to say goodbye, or even refuse to go to school.

Fear of Unknown

Another common fear is the fear of the unknown. Your child may worry about navigating a new environment, meeting new teachers, or interacting with new children. They might express these fears through questions like, “Will I get lost in the school?” or “What if the other children don’t like me?”

Recognizing and addressing these fears is an important part of helping your child form new friendships. It’s a stepping stone towards helping them feel more comfortable and confident in their new environment, which in turn, will make it easier for them to make friends.

Why making friends might be difficult for some children

How Can I Help My 5 Year Old Make Friends At School?

Every child is unique, and so are their social skills and comfort levels. Making friends might come naturally to some, while others might struggle. There are several reasons why your child might find it difficult to make friends at school.

Individual Personality Traits

Firstly, individual personality traits play a significant role. Your child could be an introvert who prefers one-on-one interactions or quiet activities. Or perhaps your child is shy and finds it hard to initiate conversations. For example, while some children might easily approach a group of kids and ask to join a game, your shy child might hover around the fringes, unsure of how to ask to join in.

Lack of Confidence

A lack of confidence can also hinder a child’s ability to make friends. If your child is worried they might say or do the wrong thing, they might avoid interacting with other children altogether. For instance, your child might choose to play alone during recess out of fear of rejection or embarrassment.

Difficulty in Understanding Social Cues

Some children might struggle with understanding social cues, which can make interactions tricky. For example, your child might not understand when it’s their turn to speak in a conversation or might struggle to interpret other children’s facial expressions.

Remember, these are just challenges, not insurmountable barriers. With your loving guidance and support, your child can learn and overcome these challenges, paving the way for meaningful friendships.

Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends at School

How Can I Help My 5 Year Old Make Friends At School?

Encourage Open Communication

Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts. Maintaining open communication is key to understanding your child’s emotions and struggles. Start by asking them about their day at school. You may use prompts such as, “Who did you play with today?” or “What was the most fun part of your day?” This will not only give you insights into their school life but also teach them to express their experiences and feelings.

Practice Social Skills

Role-playing can be a fun and effective way to teach your child social skills. This can include scenarios that they might encounter in school. For instance, you could pretend to be a schoolmate and ask your child how they would introduce themselves, or how they’d ask to join in a game. This practice can help them gain confidence and prepare for real-life interactions.

Arrange Playdates

Arranging playdates for your child can provide beneficial one-on-one interaction outside of the school environment. For example, you could invite one of your child’s classmates for an afternoon of play at your home. This can provide a comfortable environment for your child to engage in play and conversation, which could bolster their confidence in interacting with peers at school.

Encourage Participation in Group Activities

Encouraging your child to participate in group activities can facilitate friendship formation. Sign your child up for a dance class, a sports team, or an art club—any environment they show interest in. Shared interests and activities provide a common ground for children to connect. For example, if your child joins a soccer team, they not only get to enjoy the game but also have the opportunity to bond with teammates.

Read more: What Types Of Play Do 5 Year Olds Engage in? to get some ideas about how to get the young kids participate in.

Teach Empathy and Kindness

Lastly, teach your child the value of empathy and kindness. Highlight the importance of being a good friend. You can demonstrate kindness through simple actions like sharing toys or comforting a friend who’s feeling sad. Explain to them that friendships are not just about having fun together but also about being there for each other in times of need.

The Role of Parents and Teachers

The Collaborative Effort of Parents and Teachers

Parents and teachers can work hand-in-hand to create a supportive environment conducive to friendship formation. For instance, parents can communicate regularly with teachers to stay informed about their child’s social progress. Teachers, on the other hand, can keep parents in the loop about their child’s interactions in school, highlighting both struggles and achievements. Through effective dialogue, parents and teachers can coordinate efforts to address any challenges the child faces, ensuring consistent support both at home and in school.

Example: Parent-Teacher Collaboration

For example, if a teacher observes that a child is having difficulty joining group activities, they can share this with the parents. Together, the parents and teacher can come up with strategies to encourage the child’s participation, such as creating opportunities for the child to lead a group activity.

The Importance of Patience and Understanding

Patience and understanding are crucial when helping a child navigate social interactions. Remember, making friends is a journey marked by small victories and setbacks. A child may take time to step out of their comfort zone and initiate interaction with peers. It’s essential to celebrate their small successes and reassure them during challenging times.

Example: Celebrating Small Victories

For example, if your child musters up the courage to invite a classmate over for a playdate, celebrate this achievement with them! Encourage their efforts and express your pride in their initiative. Such positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivate them to take more such steps in the future.


Each child is unique, and they may take their own time to adjust and make friends at school. This journey is not without its challenges, but with your patience, understanding, and active engagement, you can help your child navigate their social environment successfully. Collaboration with teachers will also provide a consistent support system for your child. As a parent, the most important thing you can do is to provide a safe and loving environment for your child to express themselves freely. And remember, helping your child make friends at school is a journey full of learning and growth, for both you and your child.


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